Self-Consolation

The silence inside the room woke me up early this morning.

Hello again Midsayap! So what do you have for me this day?

I arrived home last Friday, October 12, 2012 with the excitement of giving to my family  the things I bought for them at Manila and Davao – clothes, food, goodies and stories. The days moved swiftly. The days ran fast and it cannot be chased. Every day is a newer day of realization about life. Every day is a new moment to think about what I have, what I don’t have and what else can I have in this life. The last 5 days of life talked about family, dreams, success, failure, love, happiness, serenity, friendship and the FUTURE.

I don’t know why and how the people around me become so futuristic about everything – about my life.

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Yes, the people around me have a lot of plans for me about the future and I don’t know what to choose and where to begin. I know myself that this life is ran by  the expectations of these people around me. Do you think this is still healthy?

*sigh!

Here’s how I console myself everytime I am on this point of questioning myself about what is happening in my life:

“Everything’s gonna fall into their right place and right time soon. Living a life to fulfill the expectations of other people isn’t healthy – if you are not happy doing it. Asking myself if I’m happy about it? Most likely true. I’m doing their way because it will make them happy, and seeing them happy makes me feel happier. My dreams of becoming someone may lost for now but I know that my God and His time will still be generous in sometime for me to fulfill the dreams of my success and my happiness. The worldly needs and the practical wants of the people around me bind me to do things that I am not good at, and do them excellently. It’s ironic, it’s difficult but I guess, it is worth pursuing and determining.”

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