Hello everyone! Today’s evening of December 30, I just finished the first few tasks on setting up our NYE decorations, preparing some food for our little feast, and having a good dinner. Right now, I am peacefully sitting on my husband’s work desk facing our huge window with our fully-lit Christmas lights while listening to Christmas jazz music. I am getting ready for this year-end post (which happens to be the one and only blog post of the year – again). Unlike the other years, before the last day of the year, I usually have something in my mind about what I am going to write. This year, I just started to pull up my thoughts right from the moment I sat down. (At this point, I don’t know what’s gonna be this year’s blog post title. We’ll see later!:)

Though I haven’t figured out yet what to write, I know for sure that my heart was just so light just remembering the entire year. The other night, I took time to just look back at all the photos I had this year and tried to remember what entirely happened. Well, there has been a lot! And right now, my only thought is just gratitude and my heart is just so warm.

Do you know that warm feeling that passes your chest whenever you drink a hot coffee, tea, or chocolate? That’s how I feel now!

Well, I couldn’t say that this year was perfect because there were several times that I cried to my husband. Those times that I was tired. I was frustrated. I was disappointed. I felt I wasn’t good enough. I felt devalued. I was not motivated. I felt cheated, betrayed, and many more. But you know what, despite all these negativities that I felt and experienced, my heart is still warm. (and I think I now know the title of this year’s blog post)

Last year – 2022, it was a hustling and healing year for me. You can read my blog on the link. And oh, because of that blog post, I had my very first podcast at the start of 2023. You can also watch it here – Episode 4: Hustling to Healing. I can never forget how pivotal 2022 was for me. It wholly changed me into who I am now and I guess, the reason why this year, 2023, was totally amazing on its own.

Entering 2023, I don’t really have an entire glimpse and plan of what’s going to happen. I just know that I and Franz are going to have a big change and we don’t know where it’ll lead us. I just said to myself that…

Whatever is meant to be for me, it will be given.
It will happen.

This year at work, I moved to a different role – a role that I haven’t “officially and fully” done. This move also meant for me to literally move out of home. Last March, I and Franz “moved” to Manila again (since we left 6 years ago). Since then, I have been flying in and out weekly or bi-weekly. Personally, I don’t want to stay long in the metro because I easily get homesick now because of my dogs. During our first weeks away from home, I was already crying every night because I missed my dogs so much. Living with my dogs for more than 6 years, they have become my daily dose of energy, healing, and therapy. I believe all the furparents will agree. It was the longest that I was away from them and I can see from our CCTV that my dogs are at the door or facing the gate waiting for me to come home every day. I was just comforted because Franz was with me all throughout the time to make sure we were together during those life transitions.

Work in the past months was definitely different from the usual. I was happy to learn new things, meet new people, and see where else can my capability take me. It’s not an easy thing – just like starting all over again but equipped with maturity and wisdom. I believe what helped me a lot was when I made sure I prepared myself and I embraced the challenges that I will go through for every transition – the adjustments, the unlearning process, knowing the whats and hows, and just keeping that humility that you don’t know and you ask help for you to know and thrive. (this is so adulting!). The past months were a whirlwind of emotions that shaped me – my values, what I stand for, and what is truly important to me. There were times that I was hoping to be back in 2024 because I was yearning for more purposeful day-to-day activities and to get a grasp of life’s stability but I never wished to be back very very soon – the same year. I don’t know what just happened, but one thing I know, God moves in very mysterious ways. The stint ended shortly because I had to move back to Davao as the work required. I officially moved back to Davao just this December. Well as cliche, as it is (because this is the best way to call it), my stint was “short but the sweetest”. I was blessed to be working with teammates who eventually turned out to be genuine friends/sisters. And even more blessed to be working with people outside my company who I also became friends with outside of work. These blessings outweighed all the frustrations and disappointments I dealt with in the past months (which I still process now). Just as they say…

Focus on your blessings, not your misfortunes

Roy T. Bennett, The Light in Your Heart

And focusing on blessings, my heart is so warm with God’s overflowing blessings to me, Franz, and the entire family. I didn’t know how we did it, what I just know is God made it happen. This year, God gave me opportunities to make new core memories. Memories that have turned into stories that I will carry all the time to keep me going.

God blessed us with 4 beautiful travel stories this year.

JAPAN WITH FRANZ

First was in Japan in May. It was our first international trip as a married couple. Our planned “honeymoon” trip but was postponed because of the pandemic in 2020. It was my best and longest trip so far. Whenever I look back on our photos, I remember the heartwarming feels of each day I and Franz spent our time together happily. I saw my best self. That was our best time together. Those were the times that told me that this marriage was so much fun, a whole lot of adventure, and what we prayed for. How I love remembering it every single day! Those days were so beautiful and lovely! (I’ll be sharing our itinerary very soon! Promise!)

METRO MANILA WITH FAMILY

Second was when we celebrated Mama’s birthday in the metro. It was my attempt to let Papa fly on an airplane in a wheelchair after more than a decade of his last plane ride. God protected us and made sure it happened. We drove around, just ate good food, showed my family the places I go for work, and just explored the different places. A beautiful memory of us in Starbucks Tagaytay having good coffee and quick breakfast together while talking and sharing stories was for me the most heartwarming!

MALAYSIA AND SINGAPORE WITH FRANZ

Third trip was when I and Franz flew to Malaysia and Singapore to celebrate his birthday. This was very memorable because it was Franz who planned, organized, and prepared the whole itinerary. And that was his first time! (Yes because on all our trips, I do all the planning.) It was supposed to be his first solo international trip, but he insisted that we go together. So, the compromise is to just plan and organize everything. As a frequent solo traveler myself, I personally advocate solo trips because as they say, you will really know yourself deeper when you travel. His birthday trip was a fun-learning experience for us. Franz had a different kind of fun! It was a beautiful memory locked in our core! (I’ll be sharing the itinerary Franz did. Or, I think it would be best to let him do a blogpost for it! )

TAIWAN WITH FAMILY

And our last trip was in Taiwan to celebrate my milestone birthday. I knew myself well that I didn’t want a grand party, nor expensive dining. All I want is to create more memories to celebrate a milestone. My dream to have a complete family international trip happened! It was also Papa’s first international trip since then. It wasn’t easy to move around with a wheelchair because I am used to commuting while traveling – taking bus and train rides, and walking everywhere. I thought this kind of trip would never happen because it seemed to be close to impossibility. But, Taiwan made everything so accessible and convenient. The memories of eating street foods, sipping milk teas on the road, catching train rides, and hopping in buses together as a family were so beautiful. I have been to Taiwan for 4 times and this one was the best trip ever!

Our trips this year reminded and reaffirmed me of what truly matters to me and what I value the most. It was also a gift of circumstance that opened me to know myself better and deeper on a different level. That alone is truly a blessing.

Apart from those trips, one of our biggest blessings and achievements as a family this year was when my youngest sister graduated from Junior High. It was big for us because, during her Junior High, our family went through a huge life transition. And for her to successfully complete it with flying colors was truly an achievement. And of course, for me financially! 6 more years and we are off from school!

And to quickly share, I have achieved minimal outpatient and zero inpatient visits. My visits this year were just my routine check-ups and updates. And I’m happy that my OB gave me a good and clear result! I am cleared with my endometriosis and my two myoma were gone after a year. Though I am left with one but is something I should not worry about. God is simply amazing! (Feel free to message me on this if you have questions.)

And this year, I got a lot of memorable firsts. I had my first podcast interview available for streaming on YouTube and Spotify. I had my first experience hosting a national corporate event. I’m used to hosting parties, weddings, and social events at the mall but never to national corporate event. I can vividly remember how nervous I was at that time. And just days before we ended the year, I got my first “legit” tarot card reading. The experience was surreal and amazing.

And lastly, for this year, my heart is immensely warm because of the gift of time that I was able to spend with my family and my friends. In the past years, this has been part of my wishes – to spend more time and nurture my relationships. And this year, I was able to get a chance to least do it. I was so undeniably happy about it. Apart from that, my marriage life was such a happy and comforting place for me. This year, I can just count the number of times, (probably can count it with my fingers) when we had real disagreements. And since we traveled and moved a lot this year, I was also reaffirmed that Franz’s has been and will always be my safe, cozy, and heartwarming home.

After many years of figuring out myself, and experiencing several challenges and hiccups, I am grateful to God that He placed me in my position now where I have known and understand myself better.

We are a work in progress even until we die. But what matters is in everyday we live and thrive, we always choose the things that we value and always warms our hearts.

This 2024, I still don’t know what lies ahead of our lives but we fully entrust to God whatever He will bring and give to us. We are just making sure we are ready and prepared for whatever it may be.

As what I learned this year, God will never give you the desires of your heart if you are not ready for it or if it’s something not good for you.

Thank you for reaching this part! Appreciate your time reading my year-end blog post. I only wish you the best of 2024 and for you to get and experience all the things that will warm your heart!

Wishing you a HEARTWARMING 2024 from me, Franz, Yuki, Yogi, Yuri, Yoshi, and the entire family! God bless you!