How my Dreams Grow Old

Sharing to you what I wanted to become when I grow up.

When I was a little school girl, I always tell everyone how I dreamed of becoming a doctor someday. Like every little child’s reason, I wanted to become a doctor because I wanted to cure other people’s sicknesses and cure them without pay.

Being a little school girl, I grew up seeing my father’s passion on our farm. He told me stories how the crops in our big farm can someday turn our lives with a million bucks. As early as 8 years old, I already thought of becoming an Agricultural Engineer. Who would have thought a schoolgirl of dreaming becoming an agricultural master someday? Oh well, it’s gonna be me and my father.

When I reached High School, my passion of cooking became my life’s centerpiece. The little hobby of preparing dinner for the family had become as inspiration and later become a dream of becoming the world’s greatest chef. Me as the little dreamer and with my big dreams, I searched for the best culinary schools here in the Philippines. At the age of 12 years old, I told myself that I will be studying in Center for Culinary Arts Philippines when I reach college. That dream was carried in the story as I was fortunately chosen to prepare our class prophecy when I was in my Junior Years.

So, here’s a year before I step into bigger society – College. Everyone was already on the verge of choosing what course they’ll be taking, and where will they be studying. I don’t know if it’s funny but forme it is, I took all the entrance examinations available for me that time – UP, UST, MSU, UIC and SPC (but not for nursing).

My priority that time was going to the best school in the country as a scholar. I chose UP as my first priority because of the cheap tuition. UST, because if I graduated Salutatorian, I can be 50% off of my tuition, MSU because of the several scholarship grants available and UIC and SPC, because everybody’s taking this exam.

This time of my life, I already made up my mind of taking Medicine and Nursing or Medical Technology as my pre-medical course. I am already excited to become Ms. Joberlyn R. Manaois, M.D. specializing Pediatrics. It was everything that made up my life that time – my dream. My family was my greatest supporters despite of their hesitations of the long time of studying. It will perhaps take me 10 years before I can be a doctor.

My grade for UP didn’t reach the cut-off for the Nursing in UP Manila and Accountancy in UP Diliman. But I am eligible for UP Los Banos and other UP Campuses. My MSU Scholarship Grant was good only for Engineering Courses. I passed both UIC and SPC examinations. My UST Examination Result is wait-listed for Nursing and I am passed for my 2nd choice of Hotel and Restuarant Management.

That time, I already told myself that I will never ever go to La Salle or any Ateneo in College. Further, I will never take any Business Course because after all, it wasn’t my call in life to do business.

So, here I am, 1st day of April of 2009, I am already in my future school processing my pre-enrollment application. University of Santo Tomas, Bachelor of Science in Nursing 1. On my way to study Medicine in one of the Philippine’s Best Medical Schools. But after 10 days, everything ended. I went home.

I went to Davao to take the Nursing examination in UST’s sister School San Pedro College. After taking the exam, I am bearing the thoughts of studying BS Biology in UP Mindanao. I’m getting nearer our home because homesickness killed my dreams in UST. Because of several thoughts running in my mind, my father then decided for me.

June, 2009, wearing white uniform – Ateneo de Davao University, BS in Marketing 1 Section M11.

My dreams are gone with the wind, but my hopes of fulfilling the deal my father left me helped me to pursue whatever I have. “You are still young when you will graduate, when you find yourself not happy of what you are doing, then go ahead to Medicine again.”

My experiences in College gave me more dreams to fulfill because my dreams of becoming a doctor is slowly vanishing but I know myself that the desire will never be erased in my heart. I wanted to become a good event stylist and organizer. I wanted to own a coffee shop. I wanted to own a big retail store.

The thoughts of having another 4 years in Medical school weaken my dream of becoming a doctor.

Right now, I am left with no other decision, but to finish what I already started and I guess, starting all over again when everything is already done will be my duty years from now.

Making my family stable is my first priority, so my goal now to go to work right after college. But one struggle in here is my father didn’t want me to work in a company instead wanted me to continue what he is doing. Yes, he might be getting more than money he can wish, but I guess what’s good for him is not good for me. He’s brilliant and I am just an ordinary schoolgirl.

I am in the road of whether applying to AirAsia live up my desire of touring around the world to offset my desperation of becoming a doctor, or working in L’Oreal or other big companies to make my relatives proud of me or going to Culinary School in Davao, or getting a loan and put up my coffee shop and big retail store, or teaching marketing here in our municipality and study nursing to prepare myself for Medicine.

Haaaaaay! A lot of doors to open but I know which key I should grab.

The reality of the world can shift everybody’s perspective including the dreams that we are treasuring for several years. So in taking decisions in life, it may not be happening on me now, but to you who is reading my story, I wish you firmness in making stand to every decision you make and I bid you happiness and good luck to everything that life will offer you.

Just don’t forget that every single moment that is happening in your life, God planned it for you and his plans are always great and for your best.

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