I think this gonna be hard for me. But I hope God will send me His guidance to reveal out the desires of my heart and answer the questions I have for the longest time.
Right before reading the book, I actually posted a blog about my life’s hardest lessons to learn. In that blog, at the first part, I was asking myself where my life taking me does. After all this time, I was overwhelmed by the pressure of the society, my family, the expectations that I adhered for me to keep up and accomplish some time in my life. So then, my dreams are starting to shatter and stumble. I was already starting to embrace a belief that I will no longer achieve them sometime because my father is telling me to do something that I am not really that happy to do in the future. I’m losing my self’s positivism to life and slowly diminishing my courage to fight on and live the most of life.
I am almost losing everything. I am starting to cheat my own self and define happiness beyond what it has meant for me over the years.
And the first chapter reminded me of this…
My life started with God. It all started with God and will perhaps end with Him.
To tell you the truth, the strength of my relationship with God is declining. I begin to feel the disappointment to myself with this. But I hope that whatever I am into right now, I will regain what I’ve lost this time.
I wanted to regain the idea and live up to it. The idea that “Everything got started in Him and finds its purpose in Him” – Colossians 1:16
Maybe it’s the time for me to remind myself over and over again that life isn’t about the wealth or any popularity that people will gain in the future. Life is about realizing that we are made by God and we should for God. It is the time to ponder that my life was not all about me after all. It was all about God and will always be about Him.
I may be having a hard time of absorbing every detail of this because of bemused mind and preoccupied soul. But I pray to God that He will enlighten my mind and soul as I learn again His magnificence.
I would just like to answer the question that the book considers to help me get into the internalization I must reach: In spite of all the advertising around me, how can I remind myself that life is really about living for God, not myself?
I may not be at the working age but I consider myself being busy and preoccupied of a lot of things. As a student, the pressure in school, some of my responsibility as an officer and most of my responsibility as a daughter and sister comprises my whole persona. This can be what I considered as the advertising around me. The temptations of world lures, the demands and expectations of the people around me are difficult to escape. These things created bigger gaps between me and my God because of anxiety.
Ever since, I trained myself to manage to read the Bible every time I woke up in the morning. I tried to pray to God before I go to bed and thank Him for the day’s blessings. I endeavored to attend mass if not daily but even during Sundays. But the pressure defeated my way of life. They ate my desires to be with God and I become irresponsible of managing my time.
I think it’s time for me to keep my faith on track of my hands and in accompaniment of my discipline. I will continue to read this book and come up with this blog each day to keep track of my journey with God. I will try to do the same thing I learned to do before and try to manage my time very well this time. But I must not forget that all this will not be possible without asking God’s providence to help me to remind myself of my purpose to him.
Dearest Papa God, thank you for this chance of seeing you clearer through this book. Thank you Papa God for being right there despite of my frailties and imperfections. Thank you for allowing me to realize that this life, your most precious gift to me is not worthy to waste but to treasure. Thank you for those idle times that I may have failed and soaked myself to the waters of worldly pleasures but still you handed me out from the waters and dried me with your warmth of acceptance. Dearest Papa God, I am sorry if I’d allowed myself to be consumed by anxiety and worries in life and forget that you are there. Forgive me Lord God for carrying a heavy heart each day. Papa God, this time, I would just like to ask for your guidance that as I see your hands right now, you hold me my hands tight and embrace me like there’s no tomorrow. Allow me to borrow your wisdom as I read your word and keep them in my heart. Grant me oh Lord your guidance to see a better day living in your presence. Amen.
- Colossians 1:28-29 (jesusmyjoy.wordpress.com)