How do you see your life now?

It was a question that I found difficult to answer. I have been into so much deepening about my life for a long time, yet answering this is never easy. In between queries and realizations, I am seeing a rainbow and a battle as images of life. Rainbow depicting that colors are the different schemes of my life, the dark, light and neutral moments. Battle expressing that my life is a survival race of the fittest. These were the images that the world is whispering into my ears. But the Bible said…

“Do not conform yourselves to the standards of this world, but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind. Then you will be able to know the will of God.”

I wonder how God wanted me to see my life. As I read through, the images are familiar and I just recognize it everyday unconsciously.

Life is a test.

God wanted us to see life as a test just as how He is always testing us through our responses to people, problems, success, conflicts, illness, disappointment and even the weather. The test includes even the simplest actions such as when you open a door for others. He added that we will be tested by major changes, delayed promises, impossible problems, unanswered prayers, undeserved criticisms, and even senseless tragedies.

Reading the enumerated scenarios above, I found myself in those situations. For the countless times, I have seen this panorama in my own movie of life. Failures, disappointments, problems, unanswered prayers and the rest written above. Meeting them everyday seemed to what I have been used to.
Truthfully, sometimes is it painful when we found out that God intentionally draws back during these times. But He did this to see what is in our heart. The test is to see how we act when we can’t feel God’s presence in our life. He planned to test our character, to reveal our weakness and prepare us for more responsibility.

Seeing life as a test will make us realize that nothing is insignificant in our life. Every day is an important day. Every second is a growth opportunity to deepen your character, to demonstrate love, or to depend on God.

Despite of the difficultness we get to encounter, “God keeps his promise, and he will not allow us to be tested beyond our power to remain firm; at the time we are put to the test, He will give us the strength to endure it, and so provide us with a way out.”

“Blessed are those who endure when they are tested. When they pass the test, they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.”

Life is a trust.

Every little and big things we have here on earth are gifts from God and possessing such gave us corresponding responsibility to take care all of them. To all things we received from God, we are reminded with humility policy, “What do we have that God haven’t given us? And if all us have is from God, why boast as though we have accomplished something on our own.”

As we fulfill our responsibilities, God promised us with 3 rewards, (1) God’s affirmation, (2) A promotion for more responsibility and (3) to be Honored with celebration.

The fast-paced of maturity I have been down recently made me questioned why God is unstoppingly giving me responsibility that I think I cannot bear. Complaints now has no place in all stages of my life. This is something that I need to internalize that as we grow old, God sees us becoming stronger and firmer. Along the way are tests that are waiting, indeed we just have to trust God’s blessing of endurance to pass all of these. God even added that, “From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded and from one who has been entrusted much, much more will be asked.”

What has happened to me recently that I now realize as a test from God?

Just as recently when my mother as hospitalized, I felt so down and crying all the time. I felt so vulnerable and finding arms to hold on. I frequently asked God why are all these happening despite that he knows my capabilities that I can’t do it. As the days gone by, situations are becoming more difficult and unmanageable – I and my father most of the time argue. I and my second sister can hold to anger and contend. Problems over problems were arising. Disappointments and criticisms are already difficult to accept. But I know I can’t complaint more, and just decide to escape and leave things hanging everywhere.

After those times, I found myself standing in the wrong position for asking God. I should have been overwhelmed because God gave me a tough problem that only a tougher human can find a way out. I was wrong when I see my life’s scenario on my view, instead I should have seen it from God’s view.

What are the greatest matters God has entrusted to me?

Ever since, I am always thankful to God for allowing me to borrow His intellect and wisdom – His capability of seeing things in a lighter situation has been my strength along the way. This made me remain standing despite of the strong winds that are trying to bend me down.

Dearest God, I thank you for all the opportunities, problems, challenges and both happy and sad moments in my life. Thank you Lord God for the times that you have tested me and made me stronger. Thank you for entrusting me with responsibilities that I know I can perform well with your guidance. Forgive me Father God for questioning your ways at times that I can’t go and move on during depressing moments. Lord God, I humbly ask you to shower me with more opportunities to see more of the life you wanted me to live and to do things on your will. May you always knock on my heart and remind me that Life is a test and a trust, and the more you give me, the more responsible you expects me to be. Amen.