The Life-long Option

After a month-long discernment, (yes, I consider this phase of my life wherein I discern too well the things I will choose for the kind of life I will live), I went to people and places where I can find my happiness, where I can find the things I used to long for the longest time, and where I can gather myself from being lost. After the resignation, I went out with friends. I enjoyed my days in Davao. I went home. Letting my thoughts flow everywhere, letting my tears run down from my eyes as if it doesn’t care.

It was a precious time I accepted to be God’s gift to me. For the longest time, I refuse and lazily pray to Him. It wasn’t me at all. I can’t blame the burden I was bearing all along. But it was my choice for me to find out the differences that happened to my life. August is gone, and I presume, the confusion and fear are slowly fading away. Because in life, along comes a heartache to make us stronger inside. I realized my mistakes. I recognized my regrets. I appreciate the little good things I lived. I am making myself ready to face a brighter a future, to live up my dream and make happiness my priority, not just for me but for my 5-fold priorities: God, Family, Loved ones and Friends, Society, Self.

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We can’t always live a perfect life with complete happiness and satisfaction. But we have the option to live a life perfectly and happily with what we have, what we can have and even what we don’t have.

For everything that has happened to me over the past days, I am so thankful of my friends who have been there for me to listen and support me since then. To Daphne, Lord, Ri Ann, John, Kuya Carlo, Erin, my previous co-workers, my college classmates, some of my highschool classmates and most especially my clingy buddy who showered me with so much many words to keep me going, thank you for being there always.

It’s gonna be a long and tough road to take, but I will always carry my faith that I will get into the finish line.

What I am just praying right now is that, when I go home later, I can talk to my parents and lay down to them my proposals, and for them to support me as I fulfill my dreams.

To Dearest God,

You already know what are the things that happened between us. Lord, forgive me for causing you too much sadness and pain. I have neglected for a long time and refused to call you. Right now Lord, I am even more thankful that if it doesn’t happen I can learn a lot from drawing out my greatest strength from you.

Lord, my only wish for this lifetime is for you to make your path straight for me to reach my dream of becoming a Pediatrician. It can be so much to ask for Lord compared to all your request to me which I neglected to do. But right now, with all my strength and your given capabilities, make me your instrument of love to heal the sick just like what you did.

Lord, I still believe and will always believe that you have prepared your plans for me. Whatever it is Lord, let it be done.

Amen.

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