Torn between TWO LOVE.

Hello there guys! I missed to post my blog yesterday because I was tired and busy. Though tonight, I will really make sure that I can post something for you to read and hopefully will me also to discern and decide for my future path.

For these past few days, I was thinking of something in relation to the subject I’ve studying right now, which is the Training for Transformation. Before I went back here in Davao, I talked to my closest cousins who’s about to get married this coming December. I just wondered that why’d she decided to marry at the age of 33? I seemed to perceived her as someone who is very generous and workaholic at the same time. She even helped her family for almost 13 years of working. However, she deployed herself to a place very far from her central family. It made her see them for like thrice a year because of so much work.

Right now, I am about a year nearer to my future, hopefully will be graduating on March, 2013. I have big dreams. I have the biggest dreams despite of my big failures. These dreams that I made are for my family. Even though, it seemed to be usual among Filipinos that the eldest sibling must work to help sustain the family’s needs. Yes, it is my dream to provide my family a better life to live. And I also dreamed to live my life with them with so much fun and happiness. For now, I consider my every success whenever I find my family happy of everything I can give them through simple efforts.

But the conflict here is, I wanted to achieve far better what I can dream of achieving. I wanted to work where I can find better living for me and my family. I wanted to work where I can express myself and my selfless passion. Yet, I know for sure that the work I wanted couldn’t be found in the place where we, me and my family lives. It is just a little town and I don’t think I can achieve more of dreams there.

Right now, I am being perplexed with the thought of working away from my family, or with them. It is not because I depend so much to them, but it is because I wanted to simply live my life with them. I got this thinking whenever I think of the Authentic Idea that death will really arrive. And for keeping in mind to make each day as your last day, I then wanted to live seeing my family each day.

Somehow, I thought of living to places with my family where I can work and fulfill my dreams. Yet, I am hanged to the idea that my family would just wanted to be there for the rest of our lives in the little hometown. I am somehow confused whether to take the usual thing of being away from my family and help them without seeing them. Or striving for a better life in a harder way but living a life with them each day.

7 thoughts on “Torn between TWO LOVE.

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