I am standing in the other side of the road and I badly want to cross the lane but I am afraid.
CORPORATE JOB STORY
I have been working in Sales for 1 year and 2 months (as of this writing) with my current company and 4 months in my previous company. In between the two sales jobs, I am unemployed for 5 months and discerned to what I will do with my life. But unfortunately, I came to an immediate job hunting to suffice my daily expenses, family needs and save money for send myself to medical school. And so, I applied to whatever company that crossed my mind and accepted any enticing job offers. Obviously, my motivation? Money. I set aside my heart and my real inspiration. Instead, I went overboard my plans and get into the traditional flow of my life – get employed, have the salary, suffice your needs, save.
The first 4 months of my second job was fun. I got good pay, travelled a lot in Northern Mindanao and was able to save money until the monster of corporate life started eating me. Then suddenly, a massive expansion happened to the company and everything else turned around. The pay wasn’t good enough anymore and travelling wasn’t fun after all. Worst, the idea of boss-subordinate and the struggles of power playing dragged me down and I was down to giving up and let go of the job. But my support group didn’t give up on pushing me to thrive for what is necessary of the situation. And here I am still have my job. (The boss who happened to become a nightmare to me had resigned at the start of the year.) And finally after 1 year and a month, I was transferred here in Davao. I never regret my endurance for staying.
Many people will always tell me that I am blessed with the kind of job I have. Good pay, company car, good company, own time. They even added that I should not complain because a lot of people out there wanted my job. But I cannot deny that there’s truth with the saying “Work for a job you love and you don’t need to work for a day.” When I was still in college I cursed sales job – chasing to hit your quotas, persuading customers, (not counting the impersonal treatment that some skeptic and negative customers and stressful bosses that you have to deal with every day). But I chose to take the sales job because it’s true – there’s more money (because it’s my motivation) in sales (incentives, commissions, allowances, benefits) and freer time compared to office jobs (not your typical 8-5 jobs).
The medical school dream was already floating in the air because I need to help my parents to suffice our needs. Then becoming a doctor became a less of my priority.
And so, I am stuck with this question every day. Is this really the kind of life I wanted to live?
Over the time gone, I was having difficulty of putting my whole heart with the kind of job I have. It’s becoming a love-hate relationship day by day. I wanted to be freer than ever. To work my breathe out for my own and my family’s gain, to challenge my better self and see the world without worrying of the work I left for days and the remaining vacation leaves I have. I wanted to quit my job and cross the road. But I have afraid to be hit by vehicles of failure. I am afraid of the struggles of beginning.
I was astonished and motivated by many people online who have enjoyed travelling and got a whole pack of courage with them after they quit their corporate jobs and finally, live their dream, become who they are while preparing for an exciting future.
I am having a clear vision that this is certainly not the kind of life I wanted to live. But I have a lot of apprehensions like when should I really start living my dream, how can I really start, what do I need to start, am I ready to start?
I am open to read any points from my fellow bloggers in case. It would be my pleasure to read your opinions.
God bless you everyone!