I miss the thoughts that linger in my mind every moment I find something special, important, worth remembering and most of the times to ponder. Days are passing so fast, engaging yet at times, tough. It’s like years and I feel like I’ve done so many things already after 2 months and a few days after I started working.
Lately, I am living the days with a heavy heart because of the thoughts I bear within. Allowing to remember these in my mind with a purpose of blogging it at some other time. Plentiful tasks and responsibilities should come first before anything else so, I miss my chance to blog. It’s just that this time, I figured out the upgrading need and I find a solution. I should write to let go.
So, how’s life now? The entry of July has been drastic and I’m struggling to catch it’s pace. It’s unusual because at school, I was able to manage to balance my academics, and life’s leisure. I understand that this time around it’s a bigger turf where I’m walking around. I felt less of everything. I just felt I only have something. I thought of EMBRACING.
In the past days when I’m so much filled of my tasks and I miss my plans and my “planner” too, I was carrying the word embrace. (It was a great timing when before I start blogging, I’m looking for pictures to add in my blog, I found this in Pinterest) Then, here’s more of what I realize.
Being a pediatrician someday I was what I always dreamed of. Recently, I always question myself “Are you really that happy?” I was asking, “Is this the kind of life you want to really look back when you lie down in the death bed reminiscing your old days?” Then on the other side of my mind, “You’re losing so much of your days right now because of thinking more about the future instead of enjoying the present, what matters right now is the present, the days you let to pass by because of looking forward for better days in the future.” I always remind myself of my frustration of becoming a doctor. I get to locked myself with the idea of I should do this for me to become like this. I should end up to be like this when I reached the age of this. And bla.bla.bla. I am filled yet I lose more of what is laid for me. I paused. I prayed. I brought myself somewhere outside the big turf – in my inner turf.
There’s more of sentimentality here, but as a person it’s I think one of the best ways in getting into this intrapersonal communication. I am in this chapter of my life right now, even though I am not fully inclined to it because of the frustrations I bear each day, I should to learn to embrace that I might not loss so much of what is laid for me. My work right now is fun and I think more fun when I put my whole self in it. Putting my spirit, putting my soul, putting my mind, and putting my heart in the whole of do’s and must’s of my work, my career. I still don’t know what are the concrete plans of God for me. I reminded of myself that I already surrendered to God my life and I let Him and his gracious plans to happen to me without hesitations, without questions and only acceptance. I might have a longer time to transcend from the “school way of life” which I am used to, to this “real life scenario” I am at right now. What matters most is that I realized what’s essential to date and what I can do to keep up, get better, enjoy more and live happier.
I will not let go of my dream of becoming a pediatrician. Ever! Instead, it will be one of my end goals in life. But right now, I will not let go of my present, the fun, that I am experiencing at work in the field of sales and marketing.
I am ready. There’s no holding back. I’ll give this time a great shot. Every day is a better day, a special day, a day worth looking back when I lie down in my death bed. The life I can call “My way of life in the present, where I can found my spirit, my soul, my mind and my heart.”
It’s a new journey, indeed! I may have left myself behind for quite some time but what’s important I’m chasing it and I’ll make sure that I get into the finish line this time, not with a heavy heart, but a heart filled with gratitude, and accomplishments. 🙂
Go for it! #thinkBIGwinBIG #speedkills I’m excited to see the usual character I am carrying at work. More enthusiastic. More persistent. More determined. More creative. in short, I’m BETTER this time carrying more than the best that I can be!