What drives me into deep thoughts about the future?

  

Here it is. My mind is getting into disorientation on this. It is an issue whether what makes me happy and what would really keep up my life’s passion until the future will end.

I’m gonna tell you my story. I hope that as you read through this, you’ll give me advice or your opinions if I’m going unto the right track.

Ever since I was a child and just as before I was about to enter College, I already have sincere plans of becoming a medical doctor someday. I placed here nurse because I intended to take up Nursing course and be a nurse before I can be a Doctor. I am a person who wanted to care for everybody especially to those who are sick. However, I easily get disgusted of any unusual matter I see around like phlegm, vomit waste, feces and stuff. But I really wanted to have licensed profession and a somehow have a title someday. Aside from wanting to earn for a living, I wanted to feel so fulfilled of what I am doing.

I decided to enter BS in Nursing at University of Sto.Tomas. I preenrolled myself and started to catch-up to Manila’s lifestyle. During my first long stay there, I get so frustrated and wanted to go back home then. I felt so homesick then. I am missing my family and I had a hard time of seeing more meaningful days to come.

I decided to go home and instead, study nearby our town in Davao City. I took again all the exams and thought of studying at San Pedro College with still, BS in Nursing.

But before the summer vacation ended, with long days of discernment of what to take up. My father laid down to me an offer (with somehow persuasion) to take up Marketing course instead of Nursing + Medicine. His points was about the doctors who earned their good status of living through their businesses which were their sidelines and not because of their profession.

The dream of becoming a Pediatrician at the age of 23 was lost. I accepted the deal of my Father that since I will be graduating 19 years old after taking up Marketing, I can still study more and become a doctor. (Honestly, I computed this with my age, I can still be a doctor at the age of  30).

For the first two years of studying Marketing, I found myself so much suppressed and compelled to ingest and digest all the theories in order for me to survive this 4 years of studying. However, right now and I always thank God for reaching the 4th year in same course I manage to ingest and digest all theories with getting choke up. I am starting to love my own field.

However, for many times that I observe other students having their duties at the hospital, despite of the stress and sleepless nights, I still envy them for being student nurses and hopefully, become registered nurses in the future who will be there to care and show concern.

I’m 7 months away from my graduation and right now, I am still unprepared of what will happen next.