what a hell ! my life is terribly getting a mess.. i always get freaking out with him. without then neither thinking of will be the effect to me.. I continue believing of foolish promises.. damn all of him! why is it i cant have that mysterious courage of telling him that once again i want to be free. free from his passion and cruelness. i hate him for being himself. yet, as an imperfect one, i still continue loving him as one of my best ones. I’m still in despair of everything we have. especially of the time i got to know him and answered him yes. of then before, i was thinking that, that certain time was then my best, but truly, my worst. my life got ruined because of that freaking him! i never really expect that with innocent outer garment is an ugly, deadly man. [hahaha..!] still can’t believe and bear in mind, that I’d made it. made my life miserable. dreams and success came at to risks. to whom then, could i run to ? help !