Since yesterday, I was with my sister (Excel). She went here in Davao City. Instead of going to General Santos City, I decided to stay here and wait for my sister. She was with me for two days already. Just us two in this big city.

I fetch her in SM. We went to Sbarro for Lunch, ordered Agnus Beef Stuffed Pizza and Chicago Deep dish.

Afterwards, we roam around SM annex. At first, we were talking how was Mama and Papa. How did she able to come her and stuff. We start sharing thoughts of the things we want to buy.

From SM, we went to Uyanguren. In the store named as TOMLITZ where you can buy several accessories with a big discount. We went home. For the first, a family member of mine was able to see my room.

She said that it was small. The silence has deafened her. I told her “this is my life. I am contented with surfing the internet, reading books and watching shows in my little TV. It was my life for almost two years.” I was even out of myself when I was able to told her “You are very blessed because you lived with Mama and Papa, if I were to choose, I will choose living with them than a life like this.”

At night, we went to Abreeza. We ate at Chowking. And then at Gaisano Mall where we bought a perming tool, then buy some food for the next day. We were talking about the clothing that we will buy for our little sister who’s about to graduate.

The next day (this morning), we cooked our breakfast – adobong tuna, rice and orange juice. We watched a movie in my little TV and by 11:30 A.M. I left her to attend the teambuilding.

I was very tired. But thank God we finished early. I went home at almost 4:00pm. I slept for a while before we went to get the money our Mama sent to us. Again, we went to Gaisano. For every ride we made, I see to it to teach here which way to go, and what route should she ride in case she’ll want to go somewhere.

After getting the money, we went to Abreeza again and by some bread at Breadtalk. We bought “Get Cheesy”, “Blueberry Puff”, and “Hazelnut Cake”

We had dinner at Mcdo and shared the bread we bought. It was perfect. The food was delicious. and how we shared our dreams was the very important thing. We talked of having our own version of Breadtalk, “BreadShout” We wanted to learn how to bake good bread.

As we finished eating, I was touched by every single word she uttered. It was something unusual.It was something that touched my heart so deeply.

She told me, “I wanted to buy clothes for Papa, T-shirt, Pants, Shoes. I wanted to buy Mama something she can wear. Something that is new. Mama is so thin already.”

I was so shocked of hearing such words from my sister whom I myself, Mama and Papa never thought of her as being like that. We thought of her as someone who doesn’t even care.

We continued to walk. She told me, “Ate, (Filipino for Sister) let’s get inside of Terranova. I just wanted to see something.” There she told me, “I will not go to PMA (Philippine Military Academy) anymore, because I cannot buy anything I wanted.” I told her, “Don’t worry, Time will come when I’ll become rich, we can buy anything we wanted. I don’t dream of having so much in life. I just dream that someday we can overcome everything that challenges us today.”

We laughed for the clothes that was too expensive. We yelled, “Someday, we will buy this.” We continued to walk and entered the Power Mac Center. I saw how she really wanted for us to have one on any of those gadgets. As we go out, I told her “I am excited to work already. I am excited that I can already earn enough money to buy everything we need.” Though, during our previous conversation I told her, “You know what, i am still blessed today because i still have semestral breaks. I can still go home and spend time with you for quite some time. When I’ll work, like Ate Joc (our cousin), she goes home on Dec 24th and go back to work on the 26th. So short is the time, isn’t it? When I can work abroad hopefully, no matter how hard it is. We will just be strong for it. ”

I then throw a joke to neutralize the weariness, I will not go to school for one semester that we can buy one gadget. She then asked how many semesters should she undergone when she goes to college. She added, “Ate, you are already old. After graduation, you’ll work already. Me too, I can;t imagined I’m turning 2nd year high school now.”

We then go out of Abreeza and went back to Gaisano to see my cousin Paulo. We ate Pizza at Calda. We shared for the amount to be paid. Afterwards, I invited to take a walk in Roxas where there’s a lot of garage sale or ukay-ukay. We look for nice clothes. There she said, “Ate, Mama is already thin, (while I was looking for clothes for my Mama). That would for sure fit to her. She didn’t eat that much. Papa too, he is too thin. Let us buy clothes for them.”

 

After all this time, everything that I had in mind was illusion. How I wish I can see everything that is happening to my family without me knowing. I feel guilty. Yes, I am. All this time, I never think of how hard my Mama and Papa worked so hard for me to live a life that I wanted. I secured myself with the little dramas I have in my life that’s why I haven’t seen the whole picture of the movie of my life.

My dreams are getting shattered. I even complained that I lose my inspiration and motivation.

Lord,  forgive me for everything that I have done. Now I know how I seek you to strengthened me even more. My family needs me. I also need them. No matter how long we have already been fighting to live in this world, we still believe that you will never leave us. That one day, we will live a life that we dreamed of. We ash your guidance Lord. We ask us to be with us, to be at our midst as we wake up each day even we near of far from each other.